Tuesday 19 June 2012
Mental Health and mornings!
Some days I feel so down I don't bother getting up until lunch time. Other days I might get up and just sit there but now and again I feel able to cope and I can get up at a reasonable hour and do something.
It is the constant thoughts and intense dreams that tire me out! Thoughts about the pressure I am putting on my family by being upset, not being able to work, not being able to function properly. I have thoughts of them being better off without me and guilt that I am ill.
It feels lame when people ask me how long I have been off and what do I do with myself and I tell them four months and that I o not do anything really. I feel that I am walking in concrete that my emotions have taken overmuch body and that I have been in a boxing ring!
I feel a failure most days, I feel upset that I studied so hard to become a lawyer and it seems all for nothing. No ideas if I will go back to my current employer,Or when I will be able to go to work. The pressure Is on my husband in terms of income and I worry that may become unbearable for him.
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It must be very difficult for you and I'm sure your husband understands. Please don't feel that your family would be better off without you, I bet they wouldn't agree. Hope you feel better soon. Lots of love xxx
ReplyDeleteThe first and foremost is to sit down and really talk to each other,Your mental health,sanity and well being is more important and im sure he would agree.Us women try and second guess what men are thinking.I sometimes think mr scrimp is fed up with the way I am but after talking he just reassures me and tries to make everything better.It may not always work but at least there is a extra load off my mind constantly worrying what I put him through.There is a light at the end of this miserable tunnel believe me iv been there.If you feel like you cant get any lower then see it as a positive in that the only way is up from here.Much love xxx
ReplyDeleteI know it must seem impossible now, but you will reach through to the other side of this. It's hard work, walking through treacle, but you are ill, just as if you had broken your leg, and you need care and understanding to help you get through this - and you will. Nothing is a waste, please don't let the feelings of worthlessness drag you into feeling people are better without you, they wouldn't be xxx
ReplyDeleteWise words from the three friends above - Cheryl is right - depression is a medical issue - like measles or a broken leg - and you do NOT need to feel guilty, or feel the world would be better off without you. 48 people care enough to follow your blog publicly, and Chris loves you VERY much, and doesn't want to be without you, he just wants you to get better!
ReplyDeleteThere is no easy glib answer - right now it DOES feel as if you are wading through treacle whilst wearing concrete boots. But there are lots of us alongside you, willing you to get through and offering a hand of encouragement.
you are often in my thoughts and prayers- love and hugs xxxx