Having had an absolutely expensive April, OH 40th birthday and my sister's birthday, car tax and MOT although I did have most of the money set aside, I do need to get back to basics. We have had a bit of a shock with the utility bills. OH changed supplier and it appears he may have given the new supplier the wrong meter reading and he may have been given a rebate by the previous supplier (do you get the feeling that OH isnt has OS as me).
Now we are looking to reduce our gas and more importantly our electricy consumption. I try and make sure we turn the lights off, tv on standby and only user the dryer when necessary (we are in a flat and we cannot use line there is no where to put one). We do put most of the washing over the radiators which are not on. And we open the windows and stand an airer underneath them. I try to wear clothes more than once before washing them. I just dont know what else to try. Its difficult to know whether our bill was incorrect when OH was and is so vague. He just says there is nothing he can do. I am annoyed to be honest that the is so laid back about it.
We do not put our money together. One reason is he is so easy going with it. I meal plan and sometimes we go without non-essentials, he comes back with a bag full of non-essentials. I deal with it by thinking if thats what he wants to do with HIS money so be it. But then on occasions when we need to make big purchases he cannot contributes. There is not a big problem just irritating at times.
Anyway OH earns quite a lot more than mean and I was starting to catch up but he had a huge wage rise recently and I had 1% - not that I am not grateful just that I was led to believe that I was going to get a significant rise hey how. So OH pays more towards the bills then I do, we pay half the mortgage each and I pay for the food. Food is a nightmare at the moment and as I say I meal plan but its getting impossible. We pay for our own car etc and petrol. I hate going out in it to be honest.
I know people on here are really stuck financially and they are in debt whereas I just have my student loan (although OH is in debt and it is quite large as our finances are separate he will not allow me to help him with it. If I try I get criticised. I.e. I told him to transfer his credit card balance for months eventually he did but didnt tell me. He saved over £100 a month. When I came accross this he said he didnt want me to know as I would be smug lol.
I think this post is now a bit of a ramble but I need your help to get back to basics. Most importantly is food and gas and electric bills. Thanks in anticipation x
Sharing your frustration here - just got the enexpected tax bill sorted, and now facing a £550 dental bill. One step forward and two back!!
ReplyDeleteLaundry - good site here about frequency [http://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/cleaning/laundry/when-to-wash-it-handbook-00000000035143/index.html] and I use a retractable 4-line airer over the bath.
Energy- you really need to get OH to sit down and talk this through with you, because it is causing you needless stress and if you bottle it up, you'll end up exploding! Try and explain that to him.
FOOD -Be glad of the warmer weather - more salads and less oven use! check out shirley goode's website for ideas - she's a bit crazy but aren't we all! [http://shirleygoode.blogspot.com/]
Hang in there Jazzy, you are doing great, honest!
It really seems as though you are doing your best. But it's vital that you share financial concerns with OH and he shares his with you. You need to work together on this.
ReplyDeleteAngela's idea of a retractable line over the bath is a good one, and something I used to do when I had a flat. I also used to hang a line straight across my bedroom, I just put a cup hook in the wall on either side of the room and had a length of clothes line that I cut to fit exactly, great for quickly drying the larger items, sheets, towels etc, and you can just keep your bedroom door closed if you have visitors.
As Angea says eat lots of salads and also seasonal foods. Shop in the supermarket late when they have their 10p bargains and fill the freezer up with them for future use.
Hope some of this helps.
Oh dear Justine, I feel for you. It seems you two are almost living seperate lives under the same roof. In fact some of your post makes me feel very angry with your OH, he doesn't deserve you at all.
ReplyDeleteHe didn't tell you about his balance transfer because he thought you would be smug, as it was your suggestion. What a nasty thing to say. If he had any balls about him he should have said 'I took your advice and it worked, thank you'.
Isn't marriage supposed to be a relationship where two people work together? Shouldn't both partners be understanding of each others needs and feelings. He obviously doesn't give a toss about yours, where as you are trying your best to make things work. If he cannot contribute to a big purchase which is needed, then he does not own half of it. You pay, and it's yours.
You two need to sit down together and have a serious talk about money. His large debt is not your responsibility unless he changes his ways and starts to respect you a bit more. If he refuses to discuss, tell him to take his large debt and go and live elsewhere.
Never ever be gratefull to a man who does not treat you properly, and by that I mean as an equal. I have been taken for a mug in the past, never again will I let that happen.
Sorry for the rant, but I feel quite strongly about it. I Feel better now I've said it. Dont forget, you have lots of people who read your blog, not just those who register as followers. We are here for you.